HEADLINES………………………………..October 5, 2012
Teacher Dan’s out of town today and asked me
to fill in as the substitute writer of Headlines. So, here I go…
A few years ago, I was chatting with a student
who’d spent a sabbatical year away from us. During that year, he’d attended
three different schools, one on the west coast and two international schools in
other countries. It was a fascinating and challenging experience for a third
grader and I was interested in his unique perspective. I asked him to do a
little comparing and contrasting for me when he returned, to describe how he
saw Friends School now given the breadth of his experience. He summed up his
feelings succinctly, sweetly, and profoundly, and I’ve never forgotten.
“Teacher Mary,” he said, “Friends School is a much softer school than other
schools.”
I’ve thought a lot about the concept of a
‘soft’ school, a concept I’ve come to love, and I’ve thought as much about what
it doesn’t mean as what it does. ‘Soft’, for instance, doesn’t mean easy. A
walk through our middle school during science or math time, writing or social
studies time, will prove that pretty quickly. The percentage of our graduates
who qualify for placement in AP high school courses, attain off-the-charts SAT
scores, and move on to well-regarded undergrad and graduate programs confirms
that. It’s our ‘softness’, I think, that
plays a major part in our graduates’ academic success. Our students are in a
place where it’s safe to take risks, and safe to fail. Struggles and failures
are not seen as endings, but as jumping-off points, opportunities to see what didn’t work and
figure out what might; not reasons to stop, but reasons to try again. This creates a powerful academic environment
that allows for experimentation, creative thinking, and a kind of learning that
goes so far beyond true/false tests.
Sometimes, during admissions visits, I’m asked
if it might not be better to bypass Friends School and get children straight
into the “real world”. “Soft” doesn’t mean unreal. Our students do
not behave as angels 100% of the time, and it’s not inconceivable that you
could hear an unkind word spoken on our playgrounds or in our classrooms. We’re
not the Land of Milk & Honey, and not everything about us is warm and
fuzzy. But…we work at it. We don’t accept unkindness as normal kid stuff, and
we don’t feel powerless to stop it. We also know that involving children in
discussions about unkind behavior is the strongest tool we have to stop it.
Involving students in discussions of what kind of a school world they want to
create for themselves invites them in as partners in this endeavor. Children who spend their early years feeling
safe, feeling loved, and feeling that their voices are heard are children who
develop the confidence, the roots, and the foundations to withstand all the
storms that the real world may someday bring. Soft places are good places for
growing people.
I agree with that long-ago third grader,
though. In ways both tangible and
intangible, I think Friends School is a softer school than some. I see
it in the gentleness of the interactions between our oldest students and our
youngest, in the way children care for classmates who are sad or hurt. I see it
in tiny, but powerful actions ---those of a 4th grade boy who always
glances back to be sure a struggling 1st grade girl is making it
safely onto the bus; those of the 6th grade Reading Buddy who makes
a special trip to the library each week to chose the ‘just right’ book for his
little partner; those of tiny children
being extraordinarily gentle with newly-emerged butterflies. On a personal level, I am touched each day by
the softness of your children. Just this week, a kindergartner told me she
thought it was too hot for me to be outside, an 8th grader said he
didn’t think I should be carrying heavy boxes, and a 4th grader said
she thinks “silver hair is cool”. If I worked in one of those unsoft schools,
the kids probably just would have told me I was old.
Assistant Head of School
ANNOUNCEMENTS and REMINDERS
Inservice Days: No school for students on October 18 and 19, our fall faculty inservice days. Information about our child care program was emailed to you earlier in the week. If you’ll need this service, please register your child by next Friday, October 12.
Welcome: We’re happy to announce the addition of Ryan Selleck, a new member of
our 7th grade class who came to us from Park Forest Middle School.
We welcome Ryan and his dad, Scott, to the Friends School community.
Where are the Hot Lunches? Returning families will recall that we offered a monthly hot lunch program
last year. Sadly (for us), Bobbie Dash, who coordinated that lunch program, has
become so busy with her own catering work that she’s unable to continue these
monthly Friends School feasts. We’d love to find someone interested in taking
over the program. If you’re interested or if you have other ideas, please let us know. Bobbie focused on the use
of fresh ingredients, locally-grown when possible, and often organic. She also
did a great job in creating meals that were appealing to children. We’d love to
continue in that direction.
Have a cozy weekend. Bundle up!
